April 27, 2008

Written by Charlie -0

How not to be a jackass - a miniseries

You know what a jackass is. He’s the guy that bugs you when you’re at a coffee shop, head down, minding your own business and drawing in your sketchbook. You might even have earphones on but that doesn’t stop him from interrupting. You take off your earphones, get out of the zone you were in and give him your full attention, only to have a conversation like this ensue:

“What are you doing there?” he asks.

You want to say “the fuck does it look like?” But you’re polite and try to answer. Of course, he won’t let you.

You say, “I’m drawing a pic-”

“Yeah I used to be an artist too. Back in the day. But I moved on because art is stupid. What are you drawing? Is that a Liger?”

“Yes, this is my Lig-”

“Yeah I saw a Liger once. Indonesia. Fascinating creature. What kind of pen are you drawing with there?”

“It’s a-”

“Ah, pens. Crazy stories with pens. Black ones, blue ones. Even red.”

How Not to be a Jackass - Tip #1

When you ask someone a question, let him answer it. You’ll know when he’s answering because his mouth will be moving and sound will be coming out of it.